Bella and the Beast: Twilight Karaoke!
by LindaRoo
Summary: The songs of Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" humorously re-written to the plot of Twilight. Come join the fun and sing along! You know you want to...
1. BellA

_Author's Note: I wrote this ages ago, posted it on the Twilight Lexicon, and several people claimed to die laughing. I completely forgot about it until Moonlight Petal left a review of "New Moon Karaoke," asking if I was going to do any more parody-songs. I remembered that I still had this thing on my hard drive and figured I'd post it. _

_The best way to read this is to go to You-Tube, type in "Belle" and play the song as you read/sing/whatever._

_If I get bored enough, I might rewrite all of the songs from Beauty and the Beast to the plot of Twilight. _

_Enjoy!_

**Bella and The Beast: Twilight Karaoke**

**Chapter One: Bell-**_**a**_

Bella: 

Little town

In a cloudy forest

Yesterday it rained like a flood

Little town

It's my first day at school

In a town called Forks...

Edward: 

I'm bored

Emmet: 

I'm bored

Rosalie: 

I'm bored

Alice: 

I'm bored

Jasper: 

I'm bored

Bella: 

So here I am the girl who's new from Phoenix

I hate the rain I hate the mud

Daughter of the police chief

I'm shy…my words are brief

There's too much green around

Eric: 

Good morning Belle!

Bella: 

Good morning! It's Bell-_a _

Eric: 

Where are you off to?

Bella: 

English! I just finished the most wonderful story about Mr. Darcy…and Miss Bennet…

Eric: 

That's nice. I'll walk you to class! Hurry up!

Angela: 

Look there she goes that girl who's new…I like her

She looks quite nervous…I can tell

Mike: 

She can join our little crowd

Lauren: 

That shouldn't be allowed

Tyler, Eric, and Mike: 

We'll follow her like sheep…won't that be swell!

Jasper: 

BLOOD BLOOD!

Edward: 

New girl…

Alice:

Her name is Whitney

Jasper: 

BLOOD BLOOD!

Emmett: 

Wrestling…

Rosalie: 

I look so hot!

Edward: 

Can't read…her mind

What is she thinking?

Bella: 

He's such a tall, pale, god-like bronze-haired boy!

Jess: 

Ah Belle!

Bella: 

It's Bell-_a_! I've just come to ask who those people are.

Jess: 

Crushing on the Cullens already?

Bella: 

Oh! I can't look down! Can you tell me some news?

Jess: 

You don't have a chance.

Bella: 

That's all right. I pick…that one.

Jess: 

That one? But he's already rejected me twice!

Bella: 

But he's my FAVORITE. Gorgeous features, bruise-like shadows, pale skin, and those pitch black eyes!

Jess: 

Well, if you like him all that much, he's yours.

Bella: 

But Jess!

Jess: 

Good luck...you'll need it.

Bella: 

I like him! I like him very much!

Mike, Tyler and Eric: 

Look there she goes that girl who's new and pretty

I wonder if she likes me back?

Lauren: 

I'm so jealous I feel ill

Jess: 

I wish those guys could simply chill

Mike, Tyler, and Eric: 

She really must pick one of us that Belle!

Bella: 

Oh! Isn't he amazing

Is he really staring right at me?

Edward: 

Oh! This is so frustrating!

There's an empty space right where her mind's supposed to be…

Jess: 

Now I don't really she's such a beauty

Why must Mike Newton pant and drool?

Angela: 

I hope to get to know her soon

I hope our friendship grows and blooms

I hope she likes it here with us

Mike, Eric and Tyler: 

We hope she falls in love with us

The new girl here's to stay with us that BELLE!

Bella:

It's Bell-_a_

Mike: 

Wow! You don't miss a chance Edward Cullen! You're the best looking guy in the entire school!

Edward: 

I know.

Mike: 

Grr. No competition can live up to YOU. And no girl can resist you either!

Edward: 

It's true Mike. And I have my murderous thought set on…THAT ONE.

Mike: 

The police chief's daughter?

Edward: 

She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to murder.

Mike: 

But she's…

Edward: 

The most delicious blood in town!

Mike: 

I know! But…

Edward: 

That makes her the best! And don't I deserve the best?

Mike: 

Well…of course…I mean…you do…but…

Edward: 

Right from the moment when I smelled her, sniffed her

I said "I'm hungry" and I fell

In nearly a century

No one's ever tempted me

La Tua Catante…I'm going to hell

Bella: 

Look there…he is

He's glaring at me

He looks…so mad

What did I do?

He looks so weird

Like he stopped breathing

Why is he leaning back away from me?

Edward: 

BLOOD BLOOD!

Kill kill

Must drink

So sweet

Bella: 

He doesn't like me

Edward: 

Her first?

Them first?

Her house?

The woods?

Bella:

Just strawberries…

Edward: 

Carlisle

Esme

My choice

Gold eyes

Consequences

Bella: 

They're such a beautiful angelic bunch!

Edward: 

Just watch I'm going to make Bella my lunch!

Mike, Tyler, Eric: 

Look there she goes that girl who's so exciting

I hope she asks me to the dance

She's like a shiny toy

She's captured every boy

She really is a pretty girl

Lauren: 

A new and quite annoying girl

Angela: 

She really is a lovely girl

All:

That Belle!

Bella:

People! It's Bell-_a_.

Edward: 

BLOOD BLOOD!!!

BLOOD BLOOD!!!

BLOOD BLOOD!!!

BLOOD

BLOOD

BLOOD

BLOOD!!!!!


	2. Miss Swan

**Directions:**

**Go to youtube**

**Type in "Gaston" **

**Sing along! Have fun! **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight. I just parody it.**

Edward:

Why does she have to exist?

That girl has tangled with the wrong vamp!

No one makes a monster out of me!

Alice:

You're leaving? Tonight???

Edward:

This aching! This longing!

This burning in my throat! Why, it's more than I can bear!

Alice:

More deer?

Edward:

What for? It won't help! Must leave Forks.

Emmett: (bewildered)

Hey! What's going on here???

Jasper:

You're leaving???

Alice:

Edward…you've got to pull yourself together!

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Edward

Killing her there in her house

Rosalie:

Huh? Who?

Alice:

You've always had such good control of your thirst,

Especially compared to my spouse

Jasper:

Hey!

Alice:

There's no one around that Carlisle loves as you

You're Esme's favorite son

Emmett:

If you leave I will miss wrestling with you

And baseball won't be near as much fun

Edward:

I must eat Bella Swan

What a treat! Bella Swan

No one's neck is incredibly sweet as Miss Swan's

For there's no blood around half as tasty

Perfect, my pure heroin!

Alice:

Think things through Edward, please don't be hasty

Edward:

Seeing her blush, why it makes my head spin!

I must flee from Miss Swan

I must leave that Miss Swan

I must get myself free from that yummy Miss Swan

I'll drive up to Tanya's in De-e-nali

Alice:

All to avoid Bella Swan?

Edward:

I'll kill five bears

I'll eat ten moose

Rosalie:

Do we have to pull out

Did all hell just break loose?

Emmett:

We could move to Saigon

I hear it rains in Taiwan

Jasper:

If we moved to France I'd eat maid named Yvonne

Emmett:

Look at me I am burly and brawny

Edward:

This is MY scene, get out of my song

Emmett:

Not an inch of me's scraggly or scrawny

Rosalie:

Em's hot!

Alice:

This is serious! Ed will be gone before dawn!

Edward:

I will take Carlisle's car

Today was too bizarre

The piano's too heavy

Do I play guitar?

Rosalie:

No! You're not breaking up our close-knit family!

(Hisses)

Over that brat Bella Swan!

Edward:

I'm telling you sibs she's a torment to me

My own personal demon from hell

Her O-negative blood is calling for me

And she's got me caught up in her spell

Rosalie:

I don't like Bella she

Steals attention from me

Alice:

It's been awhile since I had a Macy's shopping spree!

Edward:

In Alaska I'm going to get really angsty!

All:

All because of…

Miss Swan!


	3. I'm obsessed

_**Directions:**_

_-Go to you tube_

_-Type in "Be Our Guest"_

_-Choose the second option (it starts at the correct part of the movie)_

_-Sing along and have fun!_

Disclaimer: I didn't write Twilight. Stephenie Meyer did. If I wrote it, there would be a chapter in which Alice and Renee went to Big Lots to buy Garden Gnomes.

**Bella and the Beast: Twilight Karaoke!**

**Chapter 3: I'm Obsessed**

Mr. Banner:

Students of Biology, it is with deepest pride

And greatest pleasure that I welcome you today.

And now I invite you to relax. Let us pull out our

'scopes as the science lab proudly presents –

Chemistry!

Edward:

An-a-phase! Interphase!

My attitude's blasé

I studied this at Harvard, in my

Ivy League school days

Bella:

I've done this

With whitefish

In my class down in Phoenix

Hey we're done now

Edward:

Yep we're finished

By the way you smell delicious

Bella:

Did you get new contacts?

Edward:

I did not. Why do you ask?

Bella:

I'm sure your eyes were black before you left…

Your hands are like ice

Edward:

You zapped me, that's not nice…

Mr. Banner:

Mi-to-sis

Mi-to-sis

Mi-to-sis!

Bella:

My mother

Married Phil

Which was okay up until

He hit the road…left our abode

To use his so-so baseball skills

She missed him

I could see

So I moved in with Charlie

Edward:

But it gloomy and you hate snow…

And you're suffering more than they know

That does not seem quite fair.

Bella:

Life's not fair. Why do you care?

Edward:

And that's such a perfect question

I don't know

You fascinate me so

Your thoughts I want to know

Mike:

No progress…

Bella:

I'm aglow

My heart's racing…won't it slow?

Holy crow!

Holy crow!

Holy crow!

Mike:

Life is so unnerving

For I swear those two are flirting

My whole goal has been to make her my girlfriend

Ah those first few days she seemed to like me

Suddenly those first few days are gone

One week I've been waiting

Calculating, hesitating

Needing exercise in gym to show my skillz

Most days I just rescue her in P.E.

But Cullen's getting friendly

In this silly Disney medley

Bella:

I'm impressed!

I'm obsessed!

He's the one…it's no contest

I'm amazed, he has me dazed

His crooked smile is full of zest

Those gold eyes!

That bronze hair!

Full of melting snow; I swear

He looks like a supermodel

Or a Greek god with that bod so

I will try not to stare

I will hide behind my hair

I'm so glad I made that "Move to Forks" request

Mike:

Still got a lot to do!

Mr. Banner

Dismissed! Our class is through

For the test…

Mike:

There's a test?

Mr. Banner:

Know the rest

Mike:

Now I'm stressed!

Edward:

I confess I am less

Than confident in my new quest

That insists that I resist the urge

To bite her pretty neck

She's a meal! She's a tease!

I could chomp her throat with ease

But her wide-set eyes are glowing

With this wondrous

Secret knowing

Word by word, phrase by phrase

She intrigues me with her ways

And the thought of harming her makes me depressed

Tonight I will not strike her

In fact, I even _like _her…

I am floored…

My heart soars…

Oh my Lord…

She can't be…ignored!


	4. I Saw You There

_Directions:_

_Go to you-tube_

_Type in "Disney: Something There"_

_Sing along and have fun_

_Disclaimer: Disney wrote the song, not me. Stephenie Meyer wrote the book. Not me. Duh._

**Bella and the Beast: Twilight Karaoke!**

**Chapter Four: I Saw You There**

Bella:

I saw you there

Beside your car

How did you manage to get to me from so far?

Why are there dents

In Tyler's Van

That are shaped like the perfect outlines of your hands?

Edward:

This is absurd

You hit your head

Don't ask questions just be glad you are not dead

You didn't see, please just ignore

Pretend you saw me standing next to you before

Bella:

The truth is a bit alarming

Who could ever lift a van that high?

Stop trying to be charming

Please explain yourself…I really don't like to tell lies

Edward:

Ambulance's here!

Bella:

But I feel fine

Edward:

You've got to go

Bella:

I want to know!

Edward:

Too bad for you my answer still remains "Heck no!"

Bella:  
You disappoint me…

Edward:

Load her aboard in a neck brace

And strap her down against a back-board just in case!

Bella:

You know perhaps you should backboard HIM down too just in case…

Edward:

I'm fine

Paramedics:

We're going to strap you to a backboard just in case

Bella:

What? Why me?

Paramedics:

Ready? Load her!


End file.
